Before the years are gone and I've lost my nerve...

'Cause this is what I've waited for..

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

To start again.....and again.

I am a college student.......again.  Shortly before the new year I made a last minute decision to enroll in classes and complete my nursing school application.  I have no idea if I'm qualified, if I took the right required courses, or if they'll even take a second glance at my application, but I had to throw out a "fleece" to see if it might just work out this time.

This is my fourth college, and not even my last.  I started this process oh, something like 16 years ago when I was a post-secondary student taking college courses while in high school.  I most likely will not master the chemistry course I'm taking now, as much as my pride would like to think I could, but I will not let it discourage me from continuing to walk down this road.

The last time I did this God surprised us with Jeremiah, so I'm walking forward fully aware that at any time something might come about that changes our circumstances.  But just as likely it won't and I'm determined to accomplish my degree.  It's an interesting thing to juggle- my commitment to pursuing this goal and my commitments at home.  I've been preoccupied for the last two weeks, the stress of deadlines completely consuming my free time.  My house is an absolute DIS.AS.TER,  Jeremiah has spent FAR too much time in front of the television, and I can't even remember the last time Lee and I went out on a date.  So it's easy to see the sacrifice we're all making as not worth the end goal, to think I'm being a horrible mom by leaving for a few hours each week, knowing that I'm not the greatest housekeeper (would I even want to be the woman that is? I don't know..) and being gone from the house only makes it worse.  But I've been waiting and sitting and doing some things with my time for the last several years, but I'm excited about challenging myself with a big life goal that is really just up to me to accomplish.

I need this for ME.  Lee's excited for me and fully supports this decision.  It's time for him to be the cheerleader and I think that's good for both of us.  So I will keep plugging away at it, one class at a time, and yet making sure that I am all that Jeremiah needs me to be.  Sounds like a piece of cake, right?  I'm going to do my best to exemplify determination without compromising priorities.

But look at that face.  There's no way that I could turn down an opportunity to make snowballs or go ice skating even if a test about electron configurations is breathing down my neck.


A Joy, Grace, and Faith Filled Life said...

Wow! Good for you, Tiffany. Hope all goes well. I'm excited for you!

Forthwith said...

And it is likely that improving yourself is providing value to Jeremiah and Lee's life. When they do get you they get the best you there can be.

Ellie Holmquist said...

I'm really excited for you, Tiffany! Looking forward to all that God has for you in these next three years!