Before the years are gone and I've lost my nerve...

'Cause this is what I've waited for..

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Sometimes a fresh coat of pain does the trick~

(Previously a wine color)
I spent Labor Day weekend laboring.  The dining room and living room are fantastic new colors and have completely changed the feel in my house.

I needed something different.

Even with huge life change right around the corner and a new house in the mix of things, I still needed something to change right now.  Especially since I feel like myself again.  I just came out of a haze that has been the last few weeks, no thanks to the medication I was on, and can breathe. We decided to pause our treatments for a while- even perhaps until after our move to Rochester.  While the last few bits of chemicals were working their way out of my body I reached the epitome of all craziness.  Hysterical sobbing became my nightly ritual and by the third night I knew I wasn't going to swallow that crazy pill ever again.   Ever. 

(Previously yellow walls)

I don't understand why these cysts keep recurring, and my normal tendency is to examine and analyze what they mean- what's God trying to tell me, what do I need to be doing differently- the whole lot.  A friend asked me recently, "Tiffany, are you the type of person that analyzes everything or is a cyst sometimes just a cyst?"

Perhaps it's a literal "bump" in the road?  An opportunity to rest instead of get worked up into the stressful hype that is infertility treatments?  I needed this break- even though I fought against it for the first few weeks.  I was ready to be done with it all, even if Lee wasn't.  For the first time in 10 years we found ourselves in flip-flopped positions.  But it wasn't long into our conversation that Lee spoke some kick-me-in-the-butt truth into my life.