Sunday, July 25, 2010
Maybe this isn't about me~
The diagnosis: 10 minutes into our meeting with Dr. Corfman, we were diagnosed with a very common, and very treatable condition: Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome. We left that meeting with the most calming sense of relief. Finally, after 10 years, we actually knew what the problem was.
This new leg of the journey started in April, and four months into the process I've just finally been able to actually start the treatments. A completely normal cyst appeared on one of my ovaries which delayed treatments by 3 months. I cannot tell you how frustrating it was to feel, at long last, like we were able to step forward only to be halted in our tracks. After 10 years you'd think 3 months would be no big deal, but I struggled, thinking, "Haven't we had to wait long enough? Why another complication?"
What is faith?
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1 emphasis added)
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." (Hebrews 11:6)
Hope and faith are tied together. I cannot believe that God is able to do something and not hope that He will. That was my biggest struggle for so many years- I believed that God could, but that
He wouldn't for me.
Because of past sin in my life?
Because I am just... that... slow... in learning what God was wanting to teach me before this would be resolved?
Or how about this? Maybe this isn't about me.........at all. The selfish person in me says, "How cannot it NOT be about me? It's MY pain!!"
But what if the affects on me are important by-products but not the main goal?