'...to turn the Titanic around'.
I admit I was a huge Amy Grant fan when I was a kid, even to the point of recording myself over the performance track of "Jehovah". I haven't listened to her lately, but her 90's hit, "Takes a little Time" has been applicable this week.
I registered for the first of my nursing classes on Tuesday in a room full of 18-year-olds. As I listened to the advisor talk about how important it is to 'schedule your time wisely' and to 'take advantage of all the social activities campus has to offer', I looked around the room to see if I could determine who was actually there to learn something this year. I don't know how I ever really absorbed college the first time around and I think I will be a much better student now that I'm older, considering I was the only one not looking around the room for someone to catch my eye.
Another opportunity for adoption closed on us this week, although it didn't come as a total surprise that the birth mom decided to keep the baby. I still don't understand why we are continually presented with leads only to have them fizzle- I don't get the point. So school is not only a welcome distraction, but it allows me to pursue my own sense of accomplishment and will eventually enable me to provide substantially towards our financial goals. Sounds totally adult, doesn't it? So why am I actually scared to death to go back to school?!?
I think I'm dealing with slow-motion whiplash, if there is such a thing. For this entire year(basically) we have been on the adoption track. Now I'm doing something completely different and it scares me a bit. Amongst other reasons, I'm scared that I'm not understanding God's will, that I'm pressing on totally oblivious to what I'm actually supposed to be doing. As I prepared myself for these classes and applied for student loans I kept praying that God would shut this door, but others shut instead.
So I feel like my heart is the Titanic, and I'm waiting for it to come around to where my life seems to be leading. We are continuing to explore adoption leads as they come in (one that we are considering getting involved with could happen very soon), so we appreciate your continued prayers!