The latest in our ever unfolding saga......
Yesterday I received a few messages on my voice mail- my cell phone died while we were in the hospital visiting birth mom and baby. Apparently the birth mom has been getting a pretty hefty guilt-trip from her loser dad and is suddenly now uncertain as to what she is supposed to do. She and the baby are being discharged as I am writing this and will be going straight into what is called "bridge care" or a crisis center so she can take some more time to process through the feelings she has regarding her family. My heart does go out to her, only by the GRACE OF GOD, because I would partly like to go strangle her, but I also cannot imagine the feelings she must have right now as she is worried that if she proceeds with the adoption plan she will lose the love of her father.
I had a pretty intense conversation with the adoption agency this morning and I feel pretty confident that they now know where we stand. We are not happy with them and the counseling they have provided the birth mom. We don't understand why all of this is being dealt with NOW, when we have had months of preparation for it. The birth mom knew how her dad felt about all of it, but still allowed him to come to the hospital and give her grief. PLEASE PRAY that his lies and deceptive "support" would be deaf in the birth mom's ears, that she would know that his influence is EMPTY and that he is not reliable. Pray that this time would truly be about determining what is best for that sweet baby girl and NOT what will most alleviate the birth mom's guilt. The time in the bridge care is totally up to what the birth mom needs, but has a cap of 30 days. 30 DAYS!!!! She is also trying to get her 2 year-old son to join her in this home and we are praying that she will be truly faced with caring for two children- that this home will not provide a lot of support for her so she will deal with the reality of the situation.
The agency has promised to keep us updated with her status. I let them have it a bit this morning and communicated to them our frustration with being completely powerless. We told them that we will be taking some time to determine exactly how much of this we are willing to continue with as we are not willing to be toyed with anymore. I don't want to add to the birth mom's pressure, but she literally has several lives hanging in limbo until she gets it together.
PLEASE continue to pray for STRENGTH in our faith. I've already deconstructed the baby's room in my head a hundred times, saying to myself, "what am I going to do with all that stuff? How am I going to walk back into that house with no baby, walk into that room and pack everything away?"and I know that is not from God. I know the truth, but my heart is fragile. Lee has been SO strong for me, and I cannot be more blessed with such an amazing man of God. He is steady when I am not and I am so grateful for him. Thank you all our dear friends and family who are battling with us in prayer. God is at work, He is faithful and He is completely sovereign over all of this. This is no surprise to Him and He will show up.
I will continue to post things as they progress so you can continue to pray specifically. Alright Lord, let's make this a story worth telling!