Right before I fell asleep the other night a thought came to me so very clearly that had I given it any time to fester I'm sure I would have been up all night. I almost brought it up to Lee, but I've learned that it's not always the nicest thing to do to engage someone in serious conversation just after they've fallen asleep. It was not a stream of consciousness thought- I don't even remember what was in my head before, and it both intrigued and bothered me.
"What is the use of prayer? If God is sovereign, like He claims to be, then why would praying about something influence what happens? Why bother? It's just a waste of time and energy..."
I do not believe these thoughts to be true, because God's word says otherwise, but God's sovereignty is a sensitive and thought-provoking issue for us right now. Talking with our pastor the other day, he mentioned how he's experienced times where God has led very specifically in a certain direction only to slam the door in his face and give him a bloody nose. Those times, he said, were usually when God was about to do something big. Could it be that we are about to witness God do something even bigger and cooler than this adoption story was supposed to be?
Dear friends are in the process of mobilizing a 'movement'. They've created a video they plan to post all over the internet, email to friends and family, attempting to raise funds and awareness of our story. Do I dare believe that what they are doing could actually work?
I met with some girlfriends for lunch yesterday and told them about my recent intrusive thoughts on prayer. They reminded me that prayer is many times about rallying the 'troops', gathering people together towards a common mission. Ellie mentioned that while visiting her parents' church last weekend (hours away from Duluth) people she barely knew approached her asking about us! I don't even know Ellie's family, yet they shared with their church what was happening with us and people began to pray! Could all of this be about God working in many, many lives- calling them to pray just so He could reveal himself to multitudes of people? I don't know- but the truth is people are praying....lots of people, and I feel so unworthy to even be a blip on anybody's radar.
Like we mentioned many times before- we will continue to trust, continue to believe that God is not done, continue to wait until God says otherwise.
I will post a link to the video friends have made once it is finalized!